


Lost for You

by Dancing_Adrift



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Go-Go Dancers, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Schmoop, Sexual Fantasy, gay clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-19 03:57:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16526846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift/pseuds/Dancing_Adrift
Summary: Jensen is more than a little in love with Tristan, a go-go dancer at the club he goes to every Tuesday. He'd consider making a move, too, asking him out or something, if it weren't for the tiny scrap of material Tristan is always wearing around his neck. That collar tells Jensen that, while Tristan looks like everything he could ever want, he's the exact opposite of the sort of partner Jensen needs.Luckily for Jensen, he couldn't be more wrong in his assumptions, and Jared "Tristan" Padalecki is going to prove it to him.





	Lost for You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dephigravity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dephigravity/gifts).



> Created for the [J2_Reversebang](https://j2-reversebang.livejournal.com/) challenge (my first year as an author!!!!) for the fantastic prompt of go-go!Jared by the amazing [ dephigravity](https://dephigravity.livejournal.com). Nick has been one of my very favorite fanartists for years and it was an absolute thrill to get to work with him (again ♥) and write for his art. Please be sure to visit his artposts ([Live Journal](https://dephigravity.livejournal.com/129304.html) | [Tumblr](http://dephigravity.tumblr.com/post/180555388200) | [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/posts/257099)) and leave him lots and lots of love! I hope you enjoy our collaboration ♥♥♥

 

***

 

"Why aren't you out there dancin', boy?"

Jensen swiveled his stool towards the bartender with a sigh.

"I'm not here to dance, Ty."

"Well, that's pretty obvious." Ty gave Jensen's button-up and tie a once-over, his eyebrow raised in amusement. Compared to Ty's outfit - his usual harness criss-crossing his burly, hairy chest paired with shiny leather pants and not much else - Jensen could see the humor in the stark differences in their attire.

"Shut up," he laughed.

"Oh, come on, sweetheart. No one here'll even notice if you just take off your top. I can even stash it behind the bar, keep it safe for you."

"Thanks, no thanks," Jensen said, downing the rest of his Tennessee whiskey. "And I'm not afraid to go shirtless; I just don't dance."

"Bullshit." Ty's twangy response was immediate. He opened his mouth, closed it again as though considering saying something more but deciding not to. He shook his head and smirked down at the countertop.

"'m just saying. Dancing's good for whatever ails ya."

"Mmhm." Jensen went for another drink only to remember his glass was empty. He set it down on the bar pointedly.

"I didn't come here for a therapy session, either," he groused.

"Well good, 'cause I ain't your shrink, sweetheart." Ty pulled out the proper bottle and refilled Jensen's drink in a long pour. As he slid the tumbler back across the counter, he added, "Of course, therapy comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes. You may not be here for one usual type, but there's lots of other possibilities, should you be needing or wanting one."

"Yeah," Jensen agreed quietly, but he didn't really have anything else to say so he turned back to Flashdance's main area, the large dance floor where the rest of the patrons were one giant mass, writhing rhythmically under the flashing colored lights.

The go-go boys stood high above the crowd, pretty large for a Tuesday, their nearly naked bodies glistening as they twisted and turned to the techno beat. But Jensen only had eyes for one. Legs for days and a smile that could tempt the devil himself, Jensen wanted him, desperately. Wanted to feel the pressure of him stepping on his throat while wearing those neon-green laced, knee-high leather boots. Wanted to choke on the monster cock just barely contained in his tiny shorts. Wanted so, so many things… all made impossible by two truths.

One, the boy - Tristan, he had learned - probably didn't even know Jensen existed. And two - and Jensen always felt a sharp pain in his chest whenever he remembered it - even if Tristan was interested in Jensen, they just… they weren't compatible, as evidenced by the slim, black collar wrapped tightly around Tristan's long, long neck. He already belonged to someone else, and even disregarding that, his preferences were probably too similar to Jensen's own for anything to work between them anyway.

Jensen took a deep drink of his whiskey and focused on the burn down his throat all the way to the pit of his stomach as he watched Tristan move his gorgeous body in time to the music.

Therapy? Jensen scoffed to himself. Torture, was more like. And Jensen couldn't get enough of it.

 

Jensen had gone to Flashdance on a Saturday, once, and that one time was enough for him to know that he never wanted to do so again. Sure, the go-go boys were onstage as usual in all their glistening glory, Tristan standing a head above the rest, but the twinks, the serial daters, the thirsty singles, the closet cases - they were out in full force too, and Jensen had suffered under their varying attentions.

Not that he didn't appreciate a few of the come-ons - he was a red-blooded gay man, after all - but he hadn't started going to the club with the intention of hooking up, and the idea of a random one-night stand didn't really appeal. No, he just wanted a drink or two to sip on while he sat at the bar and watched Tristan dance.

And, in all honesty, Tristan wasn't why he'd started stopping by. He wasn't a stalker, not really. Obsessed, yes. But it was all just a fantasy anyway, and Jensen knew he was a hopeless case, victim to the classic blunder of falling for a go-go dancer.

It had only taken one night for him to be lost to Tristan's charms, an otherwise ordinary night in every way. He'd needed a place to go for a drink after a long week at work. He was pretty sure he'd been to Flashdance with coworkers before - they liked to go out together every few weeks - but he couldn't pin it down to any specific occasion. It was a hazy recollection, like the feeling of seeing a person he'd met previously but only being able to remember their face and not the location or circumstances of the meeting. In any case, he'd thought the Flashdance club was pretty much perfect right from the start. Ty and Matt were friendly and didn't pester him like many bartenders would, the drinks were fairly priced, and the atmosphere was welcoming in a way that Jensen didn't feel in most bars. Jensen found himself decompressing easily.

Then, just when he was relaxed and unsuspecting, the house lights turned off and were replaced by strobes and colorful neon; the DJ turned up the volume, switching to something with a heavier beat, and the go-go boys took their stages, drumming up the crowd and tempting the men away from the bar to dance with them.

As the floor filled, Jensen had been transfixed by the go-gos under their spotlights. All the boys had their sex appeal, of course, but the tallest one with the shaggy hair and the brilliant smile immediately grabbed Jensen's attention. The slim collar around the dancer's neck held Jensen's expectations in check - even more so than the improbability of having a chance with a man whose job was to enchant men and tempt them to part with their money - but Jensen mostly tried to ignore it and let himself enjoy his imaginings.

The sole Saturday was the very next time Jensen visited the club. The impossibly beautiful boy was still there, high on his pedestal among the pulsing throng and as unattainable as ever, but the unwanted attention Jensen received from the other patrons made him resolve to indulge his fantasy only on the less busy weeknights from then on.

He dropped by on a Wednesday the following week. He tended to work late, his nine-to-five always managing to stretch an extra hour or two somehow, so when he'd already had one drink and neither his favorite nor any of the other go-go dancers had appeared, he surreptitiously pulled out his phone to take a look at the club's website. Thankfully, it detailed the nights the go-go boys were scheduled to dance. Jensen had been glad to avoid having to ask the bartenders; he didn't need them joining him in thinking he was the creeper he was beginning to feel like.

There was also a link to the club's Instagram which he'd checked out while he sipped his second drink. He didn't have to scroll far before he'd come across his boy, a picture of him all dressed up in the skimpiest semblance of a bunny costume posted around Easter.

_'Come out to Flashdance tonight for a hopping good time! Tristan promises a fun-filled night for every-bunny!'_

Jensen had groaned audibly at the punny caption even as his eyes absorbed every detail of the image. _Tristan_ had his bare back to the camera, neck twisted to look coyly over his shoulder, sly grin on his face. He wore bunny ears on his head and tight, baby-pink briefs, hips pushed out to show off the fluffy white bunny tail centered on his ass. Jensen had deliberately ignored the collar around Tristan's neck and focused on one fact: his obsession had a name.

Jensen made a mental note - Tuesday, also known as 'Go-Go Tuesday', was the day for him - then he'd quickly finished his drink and switched from Instagram to Uber. Jensen went home alone that night - and has every Tuesday since - but thoughts of Tristan - _Tristan, Tristan, Tristan_ \- fueled him until he fell asleep, spent.

 

***

 

Jensen pulled his tumbler closer to his chest and scooted as far across the seat of his stool as he could, trying to put a bit more space between him and the twink leaning into the bar next to him. The kid must've been just barely old enough to drink, or he had a damn good fake ID if he'd managed to sneak past Clif at the door. He was already pretty tipsy, too, if the lack of awareness of personal space was any indication. It's not like there wasn't plenty of room _not_ right next to Jensen, but the kid seemed oblivious.

"Come on, Ty-bear. Come daaaaaance with me," he sing-songed, his naked, glittered chest pressed against the bar and his booty-short wrapped ass pushed out and wiggling enticingly. Jensen rolled his eyes and glanced back to see Ty's reaction. Then he wished he hadn't - Ty was looking at the boy like he was a piece of meat, eyes sparkling with glee at the invitation.

Jensen resisted the urge to gag, turning back to watching the dancers, careful to avoid Twink's wayward elbows. But the scene playing out beside him was unavoidable.

"Matt," Ty called to the other man behind the bar, "I'm gonna take some 'DTO'. Holler if you can't manage without me."

"Yeah, yeah. Enjoy your break, 'Daddy'," Matt grumbled playfully as he caught the towel Ty threw at him.

Jensen watched in casual amusement as Ty rounded the bar, grabbing Twink's hand with a flourish. He met Jensen's gaze over his partner's shoulder and winked. Jensen huffed out a laugh and shook his head, taking a long drink as his eyes followed the two men onto the dance floor.

"Jensen, my man, how you doin'?" Matt asked behind him, wiping the bar with Ty's rag and smiling as Jensen spun around to face him.

"Oh, you know. Same old."

"Still totally gone for your boy up there but too chicken-shit to do anything about it?" he asked, grin only growing wider. Jensen wanted to smother him with the dirty towel. He settled for groaning and hitting his head on the bartop instead. He let it rest there for a moment before peeling it away from the sticky surface.

"That's not really the point," he argued lamely. "Also, your bar is disgusting."

Matt shrugged his bare, perfectly tanned shoulder and wiped away the spot left by Jensen's forehead. Jensen set his drink in the newly cleaned space, feeling smug when the condensation immediately left a ring of water on the counter. Served Matt right for being a smartass. He set his arms on the edge of the bar and settled in to chat.

"Enough about my supreme patheticness," he declared and gracelessly changed the subject. "What the hell is 'DTO'?"

Matt laughed. "Well, you know PTO, right?"

Jensen nodded. "Yeah, Paid Time Off."

"DTO is the same thing, but for us daddies," he explained with a wink. Jensen glanced over his shoulder to see Ty and his boy grinding amidst the crowd. He turned back to Matt, eyebrow raised.

"You mean he's getting paid for that?" he asked.

"One of the perks of the job, man," Matt replied.

"Well, sure, for him," Jensen said. "But what about you? I thought you were straight."

"And happily married," Matt said, waving his ring finger for emphasis. "Remind me to show you pics of my family sometime."

"His kid is probably the most adorable child on the planet." Jensen jumped when a smooth, masculine voice piped in almost directly behind his chair.

"Whatever," Matt scoffed. "He's _unquestionably_ the cutest kid on the planet and you know it, Padalecki."

Jensen turned toward the man who had joined them, some sort of response on the tip of his tongue, but he instantly froze, his breath caught in his throat when he saw who it was. Tristan was _right there_ \- so close Jensen could see individual droplets of sweat across the man's chest and catch a whiff of the Old Spice doing its best to cover up the musk from hours spent dancing. There was colorful makeup glittering around one kohl-rimmed eye and a silver bar piercing his right nipple.

Jensen felt faint, and it took more effort than it should have to move his eyes back to the dancer's face. Tristan flashed dimples and white teeth down at Jensen, then accepted the bottle of water Matt slid across the bar for him.

"Hey," he said after taking a long pull. Jensen said nothing, mentally stuck dealing with the conflicting emotions brought on by watching Tristan's Adam's apple move under that fucking collar. Jensen swallowed and looked away, turning back to the bar with a mixture of hurt and shame churning in his gut.

Tristan pulled out the stool next to Jensen and sat down.

"So… You come here often?" he asked, leaning towards Jensen over the bar, but still keeping a little space between them. Jensen was reminded of Ty's twink and appreciated the difference. He wasn't really sure he appreciated the blatant, overused come-on though, and he shot Tristan a jaded look.

Tristan threw his head back on a shout of laughter. Jensen couldn't help feeling a little mesmerized by the sight. Everything about him was so _shiny_.

"Okay, point. Oldest, lamest line in the book, right?" Tristan returned his gaze to look down at Jensen again and Jensen shuddered at the realization of just how _big_ everything about Tristan was, too. Goddammit. Why did he have to be _so_ perfect, yet so not at the same time?

"Besides," Tristan continued, "It's not really fair of me to ask you that, when I know you're in here a lot. At least every Tuesday night."

"What?" Jensen's voice cracked and he straightened slightly in his chair, suddenly feeling very defensive.

"I see you watching me, you know," Tristan continued quietly. When Jensen opened his mouth to protest, Tristan cut him off with a finger pressed gently to his lips and quickly removed, a ghost of a touch that would surely be haunting Jensen for many nights to come.

"I didn't say I _minded_ ," he said, a small smile tugging up one side of his mouth. "I mean, how would I even know unless I've been watching you, too?"

Jensen nodded and looked away, his face heating, and took a sip of his drink. The burn of the whiskey did nothing to help his situation. He whipped his head back to look at Tristan when he pushed his stool away from the bar and stood. He finished his water, setting the empty bottle back on the counter, then smiled brightly down at Jensen.

"Maybe, one of these nights, you'll actually come join us out on the floor." He nodded at Matt as he cleared away his bottle, then leaned down to whisper right into Jensen's ear.

"I can be very persuasive, if I need to be," he murmured. Jensen shivered. The dark sparkle in Tristan's eye when he straightened again was _not_ the look of a sub, and Jensen barely had time to wonder what had just happened before Tristan winked at him and bounded back onto the dance floor to again take his place in the spotlight.

 

***

 

_"I've been watching you, too."_

_"I can be very persuasive, if I need to be."_

Jensen could not get Tristan's voice out of his head. The low rumble in his ear had left him reeling, staring silently at Tristan's gorgeous backside as he walked away, his water break apparently finished. Jensen had left just before midnight, staying longer than he usually would simply because he'd been that stunned by their interaction.

The morning was still very new by the time he got home, stripped out of his work clothes, and fell into bed. The extra glass of whiskey he'd had while watching Tristan - still rooted to his bar stool and unwilling to touch the dance floor despite Tristan's assertion - had him feeling more loose and relaxed than usual. He felt really, really good.

The doubts and confusion about who and what Tristan was lingered, but they were fuzzy, dulled by the power of alcohol. All that remained in the forefront of Jensen's mind was the way Tristan had looked when he'd pulled away - so sure, and confident. Self-assured that he would have his way, that he would undoubtedly get Jensen to do whatever he said he would, even if it took some persuading.

_Fuck_ , Jensen wished he would. Jensen _wanted_ to be persuaded by Tristan. Hell, it wouldn't really even take all that much persuasion. Jensen would gladly be his if only he said the word.

Jensen let himself give in to the fantasy, rolling onto his back and stroking himself over the soft cotton of his boxers. He was hard in a matter of seconds, recalling the image of Tristan up close and personal, miles of glistening skin covering firm muscles, strong arms that looked like they could hold a man against a wall and fuck him suspended there…

Then Tristan's voice entered Jensen's brain again, but this time it wasn't words remembered.

_"Did I give you permission to touch yourself?"_ fantasy Tristan asked him. Jensen could just picture him hovering over him on the bed.

_"You need permission to touch what's mine. And you're_ mine _,"_ he growled. Jensen whimpered and tore his hands away from his weeping cock, laying them palms up on the bed on either side of his head. He imagined Tristan's long fingers wrapped around his wrists, pressing them into the mattress. Jensen squeezed his eyes shut, thrusting his hips upwards and focusing on the feel of his wet boxers just barely rubbing against him. He bit his lip in frustration but kept his hands up.

_"That's it, baby, wanna see you come just like this."_ Jensen gripped the sheet hard in both hands and twisted his hips desperately. His nipples ached, his hole felt empty, and the barest brush of the fabric all made him want to weep, but he kept imagining what Tristan would say, what praise he'd give Jensen for being so good. He thrust and thrust and bit his lip harder.

"Can't, can't do it. Please, Tristan, please. Need you…" Tears slid down Jensen's cheeks as he writhed. Then, when he didn't think he could stand it any longer, Tristan leaned down by his ear, grabbing Jensen's cock in his huge hand and whispered, _"Okay. Come."_

Jensen cried out as he came all over his own fist, the fantasy dissapaiting along with his high. When he could move again, he took off his boxers, wiped himself clean, then rolled over and finally fell asleep.

 

***

 

"You're coming to the drag show on Friday, right?" Matt asked the following week.

"Um… " Jensen watched the ice spin as he stirred his rum and Coke.

"Come on, man. I'll be in it! Don't you want to see how pretty a woman I am?" Matt fluttered his eyelashes when Jensen looked back up at him and Jensen couldn't help but giggle at his antics. He smirked.

"I dunno. I've never really been all that into women," he joked.

"Oh, I've got the goods where it counts, baby," Matt teased back. "But really, you should come! It's always a ton of fun. And hey - you could meet Mandy! She'll be there; I'm sure she'd love to meet you."

Matt had finally shown Jensen some pictures of his family, and his wife and kid were certainly as adorable as advertised. And it really wouldn't hurt Jensen to expand his social circle a little…

"Your boy will still be dancing before the show," Ty added, dropping a case of beer on the floor and beginning to stack the bottles inside the fridge behind the bar. Jensen felt his face flame at the mention of Tristan.

"You missed it last week, Ty," Matt said. "J-Pad paid Jensen here a visit during his break."

Jensen was starting to work up an indignant response, or something, when he latched onto what Matt had said. "J-Pad?" he asked.

"Oh, um. Tristan, I mean." Now it was Matt's turn for his face to go red. He ducked his head and scratched at the back of his neck.

Jensen felt like an idiot. Of _course_ Tristan wasn't the guy's real name. He'd been so caught up in his crush that it hadn't even occurred to him. Oh well, it was still just make believe anyway - his fantasy man might as well have a fantasy name, right?

"Ooooh," Ty cooed, leaning over the counter on his elbows and cradling his face in his hands. He grinned wide and saccharine at Jensen. "Are you two going steady now?" he asked, adding some Southern Belle to his usual accent.

"I hate you both. For the record," Jensen said, waving his glass at them before taking a drink.

"Your loss." Ty shoved away from the bar and continued unloading the carton at his feet. "Matty really puts on a helluva show. It should be witnessed at least once."

"Damn right," Matt agreed. "And it starts pretty early. You don't have to stay for the whole thing if you don't want. I'd totally understand." He clasped his hands and placed them under his chin, batting his eyelashes again and pouting his lips for full effect. "Pretty please, Jensen?"

"Okay, _fine_ ," Jensen finally gave in. "On one - no, two! - conditions."

Matt dropped his arms to prop himself up with his hands flat on the bar. "Alright, let's have it," he said.

"One: I get a free drink of my choice."

"Done!" Ty yelled from inside the fridge. Jensen smirked then looked Matt dead in the eye.

"And two? You guys need to drop this thing with Tristan, whatever his real name is. It's not gonna happen, okay?"

Matt leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "Agree to disagree on that second part, but I think we can let it go for a while. What do you say, Ty?"

"Boy's only fooling himself, but sure. We can do that," Ty answered. He straightened back up, wiped off his hands, then grabbed the empty box. He saluted at Jensen before leaving to toss the cardboard in the recycling bin out back.

"I guess we'll see you on Friday then, huh," Matt said, grinning down at him.

"Can't wait," Jensen said, rolling his eyes and suppressing a smile as he finished his drink.

 

***

 

"Oh, come on!" Ty threw his rag to the counter and stretched out an arm to gesture at Jensen as he approached the bar.

"You can't even dress down a bit for _drag_ night?" he exclaimed. "Boy, this is a _club_. You're supposed to dress to get _laid_ , not dress to impress."

"I don't know, he looks pretty impressive to me," the leggy brunette sitting at the bar said, smirking at Jensen in his usual dress pants and button-up with tie.

"Uh..." Jensen paused at his stool. He looked closely at the lady giving him the appraising look. Something about her seemed vaguely familiar…

"Mandy, don't encourage him. Boy needs to learn to loosen up," Ty bitched.

Jensen smiled and sat down.

"So you're the infamous Mandy, huh? Jensen," he said, reaching out to her. She smiled brightly and shook his hand.

"It's nice to finally meet you," she said, then spun back towards the bar and her stunningly orange drink.

"You too," Jensen said and he actually meant it. It was already pretty clear to see why Matt couldn't stop bragging about her. Not only was she empirically attractive, but she'd immediately made him feel at ease despite Ty's ribbing.

"And just for the clothing commentary," he directed to Ty, "I think I'll have a glass of The Glenlivet 18 Year Old for my free drink."

"Free drink?" Mandy looked up from her umbrellaed cocktail. "No one said anything to me about free drinks."

"Sweetheart, you always drink for free," Ty said with a wink. Then he scowled at Jensen. "And _you_... "

"You said anything of my choice," Jensen reminded him. "Not my fault you were a jerk about my clothes. I had to work late. I deserve that drink, Ty, and you agreed I could have it."

"You always work late," Ty grumbled, but he grabbed the bottle from the top shelf and poured Jensen his single malt.

Jensen accepted the glass and took a leisurely sip, letting the smooth whisky roll over his tongue and slide down his throat. He closed his eyes, playing up the savoring of the moment.

"Ah yeah, that's the stuff," he said, setting the drink back on the counter. He grinned up at Ty and smacked his lips.

"Don't push it, sweetheart." Ty pointed at him menacingly, though the effect was somewhat lessened by the ever-present twinkle in his eye. Jensen laughed and turned to face the dance floor as Ty moved down the bar to attend to some other customers.

It only took a second for Jensen to locate Tristan. He'd always stand out in a crowd, even if he wasn't a head taller than everyone else and dancing on an elevated stage. Tonight he was brandishing a rainbow feather boa over his broad shoulders, his harness (and collar, ugh) and knee-high boots in place like usual. Jensen nearly choked on his next sip of scotch when he realized that Tristan's tight black bottoms were nothing more than a jock-strap, giving everyone an amazing view of his bare ass while he danced.

"Fuck," he cursed, coughing into his fist as the liquor threatened to burn very unpleasantly down the wrong pipe.

Mandy reached over and patted him on the back helpfully. "You okay there, buddy?"

"Yeah! Fine," Jensen rasped out, his eyes filling with tears. He gladly accepted the glass of water Ty slid across the bar, his eyebrow raised at Jensen's reaction.

Jensen took a few large gulps and focused on returning to a normal breathing pattern while Mandy rubbed soothing circles over his back. When he sat up straight and nodded at her in silent thanks, she pulled back her hand and smiled knowingly at him.

"So, uh, do you always nearly die when you see boy butt, or is that special to tonight?

Jensen side-eyed her. "I don't know what Matt has been telling you, but he needs to learn to keep his pretty mouth shut," he grumbled.

Mandy laughed. "It's a good thing you're hot," she said, leaning forward to peer at him and tap lightly at his forehead. "Because I'm not entirely sure you're all together up there."

Jensen's scowl deepened.

"Jensen." Mandy moved back into her own space and there was a soft sincerity to her voice that had Jensen giving her his full attention despite his growing resentment. "I know we only just met, but I feel like I can be honest with you. I didn't mean anything but to tease you a little, but... You really do like him, don't you?"

Jensen huffed out a breath and took a careful sip of his drink. He watched Tristan for a moment, rolling his hips and moving his gorgeous body to the beat, and he felt the usual longing so strongly that he swore his chest ached.

"Yeah," he admitted. "God. I don't even _know_ him. But yeah. I really like him."

Mandy smiled kindly and squeezed his shoulder but she didn't question him further. They watched the dancers in silence for several moments, lost in thought. Jensen mainly focused on how Tristan's dimples flashed as he smiled at the dancers below him, all vying for their turn to stuff dollar bills in the straps of his underwear.

Jensen coughed again - more to distract himself from the jealousy threatening to rise up than from any imminent danger of drowning on mis-swallowed alcohol - and looked down at the drink in his hands. He turned back towards Mandy who had almost finished her cocktail.

"So, uh," Jensen floundered. "Where's Matt? He off being made prettier somewhere?"

Mandy laughed. "Yup." She smacked her lips on the end of the word and finished her drink.

"Next one's on me," Jensen said, waving Ty back over to them.

"Sure, yeah. Thanks," Mandy said, smiling at him and then Ty, too, when he took her empty glass. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, ordered a tequila sunrise, and continued, "It takes a lot of time for Matt to get ready. He's been at it for almost an hour now."

"I can imagine," Jensen said. "I've never done anything close myself, but I've been to a few shows before. The transformations are amazing."

"You might not even recognize him," Mandy teased, sipping her new drink. "I'll have to keep quiet, see if you can guess."

Jensen laughed. "You gonna buy _me_ a drink if I get it right?" he teased. Mandy winked.

"I'll buy you _two_."

"Alright, you're on," he said, and they shook hands on it.

 

***

 

Chatting with Mandy and, occasionally, Ty, when he wasn't busy serving the steadily growing crowd, made the time remaining before the show fly by. Jensen switched to bottled beer after he finished his whisky and Mandy did the same, both of them taking some pity on Ty having to run the bar all by himself on one of the club's busiest nights.

"It's only for a little bit," he explained when they asked him about it. "'nother few minutes or so and a couple'a the boys out there will come back and help," he said, nodding over at the dancers on their stages.

Not a minute after he'd said it, the music changed and the lights briefly dimmed. When the lights came back up, Tristan and the other go-go boys were all gone and a few men dressed in black shirts with 'SECURITY' written in bold across the back were ushering the crowd away from the dance floor. Some of the men started rearranging the stages to form one long stage that extended out from the back wall while others brought out high-top tables to place around it.

The set-up crew was just finishing when one of the regular go-go dancers - Jensen thought his name might be Ken but he wasn't sure - came back out one of the side doors and stepped behind the bar. He was still dressed in his stage outfit, but it looked like he'd maybe taken a quick shower or something since he didn't seem to be sporting the expected layer of sweat. It wasn't long after that before another go-go boy joined him and Ty, all three of them working non-stop to fill the drink orders of the displaced hoards of former dancers.

Jensen stayed turned towards the stage, nursing his second beer while darting furtive glances at the door marked 'Employees Only' that the two go-go-turned-bartenders had come from. Even if Tristan wasn't needed to help tend bar, Jensen still hoped to maybe catch one more glimpse of him before the end of the night.

The general clamor of the bar died down as the house lights went out. There was a buildup of music and colorful flashing lights provided by the DJ and then the darkness was pierced by a blinding line of white shining along the jutting stage.

"GOOD EVENING," a rumbling voice boomed. "Kings, queens, and in-betweens! Welcome to Flashdance, where we are proud to present DRAG NIGHT - an evening of song and dance and extravagance the likes of which you've never seen. I'm Richard and it is my great pleasure to be your host. Tonight's show is sure to be a real treat!"

Jensen laughed into his bottle as the host stepped onstage and continued his boisterous introduction. Richard was wearing a suit that seemed to be entirely covered in silver sequins. The jacket had long tails in the back and he wore a tall top hat that matched. The effect was a bit like what a disco ball might look like if it were turned into a human. His outfit made him visible even when he stepped into the darkness on the side of the stage to make room for the first act.

The stage was still too far away from the bar for him to get a great view of the more detailed aspects of the performers' extravagant outfits, but if he squinted it wasn't so bad. He tried to pay close attention to their voices and mannerisms, determined to find any clues that would help him accurately identify Matt and get his free drinks out of Mandy, but it was harder than he'd expected.

After the third act, a king who did an amazing impression of David Bowie, Mandy jumped out of her seat.

"I'm gonna run to the restroom quick. Save my spot for me?" she said to Jensen.

"Yeah, sure," he said. He angled his body to the side, bracketing her stool between his knees while still allowing him to watch the show on stage. He jerked in surprise when, a few moments later, somebody tried taking the seat.

"Hey!" he squawked at the tall guy trying to pull the stool away from him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, is this seat taken?" the guy asked.

"Yeah, I'm saving it for a friend…" Jensen trailed off as he got a good look at the guy's face. "Tristan?"

Tristan beamed down at him, his smile seeming even brighter in the darkened room. Jensen did a bit of a double take when he noticed the hoodie and jeans he was wearing. His long hair was wet and tucked behind the ears, and he smelled like he'd just taken a shower (which, Jensen figured, he probably had). It was so incongruous with how Jensen usually saw him that he couldn't help but stare.

Tristan continuing to pull the chair away from the bar was enough to break Jensen of his trance.

"Sorry, as much as I'd love to let you sit, I really am saving the seat for someone," he protested, trying to grab the stool back from Tristan and only succeeding in putting his hands on top of his. He pulled his back as though he'd been burned, allowing Tristan to gain control of the chair.

"That's okay. I'm sure Mandy won't mind," Tristan said as he sat down.

"How did you… " Jensen started, then stopped. Of course Tristan knew Mandy had been sitting there, had probably watched her leave for the restroom. _'I've been watching you too,'_ he remembered, and he couldn't stop the shiver that ran down his spine at the memory.

"You know," he said, as quietly as the noisy bar and current drag act would allow, "That's the second time you've started a conversation with me by asking a question you already knew the answer to."

"I do know." Tristan grinned, his slanted eyes looking down at Jensen with a teasing sparkle in them. He'd somehow managed to get a bottle of water and he took a deep drink while Jensen continued to stare at him. Jensen couldn't help but note the unobstructed view of Tristan's throat, his collar missing along with the rest of his usual go-go attire. It was a really, really nice sight, but Jensen couldn't let himself believe it meant anything, either.

"So," Tristan said. "We've never properly been introduced." He set his water down on the bar and lifted a hand between them for Jensen to shake. "I guess you know I'm Tristan, but that's just the name I use on stage. My first name is actually Jared."

"Jared," Jensen repeated, struck a little dumb. Okay, maybe a lot dumb. His brain was grinding its gears, trying to adjust to the new information. _Jared_.

"Jensen?" Tristan - no, Jared - asked, his hand still hovering.

"Oh, right! Hi, nice to meet you," Jensen said, finally shaking Jared's hand. "Wait, you know my name already, too?"

Jared dropped his hand and brought it to the back of his neck, ducking his head and… was he blushing? Yeah, his cheeks were definitely pink. Jensen felt a little smug, and more than a little in awe of the fact that Jared had somehow cared enough to find out Jensen's name.

"Well, I was going to ask Matt or Ty, but they were always talking to me about you anyway, and your name just sort of came up."

Jensen frowned. "I really wish those two would mind their own business a bit more."

"What?" Jared looked up at him, a little wrinkle of concern forming between his eyebrows. "It's not that they were talking _about_ you. Nothing bad or anything. It's just. You're a regular, and they like you, so your name occasionally came up. Nothing else, I promise."

"Oh." Jensen couldn't really think of a better response. With all the ribbing they'd been giving him lately about his, well, his crush on Tr- Jared, he'd just assumed they'd be teasing Jared about it too.

"Have they been giving you a tough time?" Jared asked, his voice lowering. "I know things were a little crazy the first time you came in here, but they see that sort of stuff all the time. Hell, Ty _does_ that sort of stuff all the time, and while he's on the clock, too. They wouldn't hold it against you. Or, well, they shouldn't."

"Nah, they've just been a little more persistent on a topic I'd rather they just forget about," Jensen answered. "But what do you mean, the first time I came in here? All I've ever done is sit and drink. I don't know what's crazy about that."

Jared opened and closed his mouth a few times, apparently at a loss for words.

Jensen laughed. "What? Did you confuse me with someone else?"

"Oh, I don't think I could ever confuse you for anyone else, sweetheart," Jared said. His eyes had grown awfully dark, and he licked his lips as his gaze flickered to Jensen's mouth.

"Jared? What the hell are you talking about?" Jensen felt himself starting to sweat under the intensity of Jared's gaze. That look was one he'd only fantasized about - every night for months now, but a fantasy nevertheless. Having the real thing directed at him was triggering all sorts of urges he'd actively been trying to repress for just as long.

"You don't remember," Jared said. He searched Jensen's face, but Jensen could only look back at him, lost and confused.

"God, I'd always wondered," Jared continued, laughing harshly, "what was it that had made you change, why you were acting so different, never coming out to dance anymore… Never approaching me again… "

"I've never approached you," Jensen argued. This much he knew for certain. "I'd never, because… " he cut himself off as his eyes snapped to Jared's neck, to where the collar was still absent.

"Because why, Jensen?" Jared reached out a hand and lifted Jensen's chin so he'd look him in the eyes. "Tell me."

Jensen felt a shudder run through him at the commanding tone of Jared's voice. It wasn't something he could ignore.

"Because… because of your collar. Because of what it means. Because… because that's not something I want, in a partner, at least. Because I'm that way, too. And I need… I need more."

"You need someone else to take control," Jared said. Jensen nodded, his head still cradled in Jared's hand.

"And you thought I… " Jared stopped, chuckled darkly. "Oh, sweetheart." He stroked his thumb across Jensen's lips and Jensen parted them on a sharp intake of breath. What - seriously, what - was happening here?

"You _have_ approached me before," Jared said. Jensen was about to protest again, but then Jared slipped his thumb into Jensen's mouth and pinned down his tongue to stop him from speaking. "Shh. You don't remember, so I have to tell you, okay?"

Jensen was too numb, his brain buzzing from Jared's touch, so he just nodded. Jared released his tongue and removed his hand. Jensen swallowed and shut his mouth, relaxing his body and focusing all his attention on Jared.

Jared smiled. "Good boy." 

Jensen's cock twitched in his pants at the praise and Jared noticed, smirking down at Jensen's crotch. Jared brought his hand up to stroke over Jensen's knee and thigh in a soothing sort of motion that also set Jensen's nerves on fire. Jared just fixed him with a firm look, and Jensen held still for him, waiting.

"Your birthday is March 1st, right?" Jared asked.

"Y-yeah." Jensen stumbled over the answer as Jared's thumb stroked along the inseam of his pants. "How, how do you know _that_?"

"It's the day we first met," Jared said, eyes darting over Jensen's face, searching.

Jensen gasped when the hint of memory hit him and, as Jared continued to tell his side of the story, all the pieces started to fall into place.

 

_***Several months earlier on March 1st...***_

 

"Yo, Jackles!"

Jensen glanced up from his desk to see Chad Murray wrapped around the doorframe of Jensen's office. The HR manager shot Jensen a crooked grin and bounded into the room.

"Did you really think you could sneak your birthday past me?" he asked, flopping down in one of the chairs meant for Jensen's clients. He pressed a few wrinkles out of his navy suit and looked up at Jensen, one eyebrow raised expectantly.

"Uh… " To be fair, Jensen didn't really put all that much importance on his birthday and had mostly forgotten about it. "Yes?" he said.

"Well, I'm sorry, my man, but that's just not gonna fly," Chad said, shaking his head, an insincere frown on his face. "For one, I never pass up the opportunity for cake." He paused and held Jensen's gaze. "There's going to be a mandatory coffee break at eleven, by the way."

"Mandatory… You can't do that." At least Jensen was fairly certain he couldn't…

"I can, and I am. _Cake_ , Jensen. I don't make the rules."

Jensen was pretty sure that's exactly what had just happened, but he was smart enough not to argue.

"And _two_ ," he continued, "that's just sad, man. Don't you want to, I don't know, take advantage of all the free birthday stuff? Free dessert at dinner, free drink at the bar… Aha!"

He snapped his fingers and Jensen jumped a little in his desk chair.

"That's exactly what you need! Free drinks!"

"I don't really think… " Jensen started, but he cut himself off when Chad pointed a stern finger in his face.

"Now you listen to me, Jackles. I may be your coworker, but I'm also your friend. And it is my duty as both to make sure you have a birthday so awesome you have to call in sick the next day, you hear?"

Jensen just stared at him, dumbfounded. It's true, they were friends - Chad was pretty much the only reason Jensen _had_ friends anymore, the first person he really connected with at his new job in a new town - and it certainly wouldn't hurt Jensen to live a little more. He always enjoyed going out with Chad and the guys, though he wasn't particularly keen on the proposed 'calling in sick the next day' part . He was definitely starting to get too old for that.

"Well, maybe if I…"

"No," Chad cut him off. "No maybes, ifs, ands, or buts." He considered for a moment. "Okay, maybe butts. Yeah, okay, butts might be in order, too."

"I'm sorry, what?" Jensen was beginning to feel like he'd missed something. Not all that unusual with Chad, but still.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it," Chad said in what he probably thought was a reassuring manner.

He rose from the chair and knocked his knuckles on the surface of Jensen's desk. "That settles it," he said. "We're gonna go out tonight and make sure you have a _proper_ birthday hullabaloo."

Jensen gawked at him, several protests forming and dying on his lips. Chad just grinned at him.

"Tonight, Ackles. I'll pick you up at seven." He lifted an eyebrow and gave Jensen an appraising look. "Wear something… hot."

Jensen sputtered. Chad spun on his heel, turning to go, and as he left, his laughter-filled voice floated behind him, "And don't forget! Cake break! Eleven o'clock, Ackles!"

Jensen sighed, resigned, and checked his watch. Looked like he had another hour to finish his current project and then, well, then he guessed he had some cake to eat.

 

***

 

Jensen smoothed his hands over the front of his black button-up. He wasn't sure that it and the dark jeans he'd changed into would meet Chad's standards of 'hot', but it was what he was getting, like it or not. Jensen thought he looked pretty good, and that's what really mattered, right? After all, it was _his_ birthday, not Chad's.

There was a slightly unsettled feeling in his stomach. He didn't have much of a social life apart from occasional drinks with the guys, so he was a little nervous for whatever Chad had planned. But at the same time, and for the same reasons, he was actually looking forward to the night out, too. Chad and their small group of friends - many of them also their coworkers - were a good group, and Jensen could certainly stand to spend more time with them.

A knock on the front door broke him out of his thoughts. He grabbed his keys off the counter and made sure he had his phone and wallet in his pockets, then went to go answer it.

Chad was leaning against the frame when Jensen swung open the door. His usual, cocky smile was in place, his blonde hair perfectly styled. He looked great in his designer jeans and dark grey sports coat with a black t-shirt underneath.

"Hey there, birthday boy." He reached out to grab Jensen by the shoulders, giving him a once-over. "Lookin' good, stud. You ready to go?"

Jensen couldn't keep from grinning. "Ready as I'll ever be," he laughed. Chad stepped aside as Jensen closed and locked the door, then he gave him a hearty slap on the back.

"Your carriage awaits, good sir." He gestured grandly down towards the street where… was that a freaking _limo_?

"Oh my god." Jensen stared. "You _didn't_."

The sunroof of the limo opened and Steve and Chris from marketing poked their heads out. Jensen covered his heated face with one hand and groaned. His friends were the _worst_.

"Get that fine ass down here, Ackles!" Steve hollered up at them. "We've got some serious celebrating to do!"

Chad clasped Jensen's shoulder. "Come on, Jen. Let's have some fun, whaddaya say?" he asked, quiet so the others wouldn't hear.

Jensen looked at him, still incredulous, but he saw the understanding in his friend's eyes, and the hope, too. He knew Chad meant well, and Jensen would feel like a total ass if he didn't accept this gift as it was intended. He grinned widely and cuffed Chad on the back of the head.

"Fuck it. Let's _do_ this."

Chad let out a loud whoop and skipped down the steps, Jensen following close behind as their friends cheered and slid back inside the limo.

 

***

 

By the time they got to the club, Jensen was well on his way to drunk. Their first stop had been some swanky martini bar where they'd enjoyed half-off appetizers and Chad had successfully sweet-talked their corseted waitress into a free drink for Jensen. Of course, that was on top of the round of shots Steve had ordered them upon their arrival, a second martini Jensen had insisted on paying for himself, and the beer Chris had bought him right before they'd left.

So yeah. Jensen was feeling _pretty good_ when the limo dropped them off just outside of Flashdance. There was a small line of people waiting outside, the door guarded by a huge bald guy whose tattooed arms bulged from his sleeveless shirt, but Chad just walzed their group right up to the entrance. The bodyguard broke into a huge grin, grabbing Chad's arm and pulling him into a hug, slapping his back and greeting him like an old friend. Then he stepped aside and let their whole group in, no questions asked.

Jensen glanced around in dazed amazement as they entered the club. It was dark inside, the only light coming from the soft glow above the bar or the neon and sparkles that flashed over the dance floor, full of bodies writhing against each other. There were spotlights on a few dancers that stood higher than the rest. Jensen hadn't seen go-go dancers before, but he knew enough to know that that's what they were. They were _beautiful_.

"Come on, Romeo," Chris said, laughing a bit as he pulled a slack-jawed Jensen towards where Chad had found them a table. "They ain't goin' nowhere. You can ogle from over here."

Jensen giggled as he fell into the booth he'd been led to. Steve put an arm around him and Jensen leaned back into him, warm and happy.

"You guys are great," he said, just as Chad approached with a tray full of drinks. "Thanks for taking me out tonight."

"Aw, you going all sappy on us, Jackles?" Chad winked as he handed them each a beer.

"Shut up. I'm allowed," Jensen said, taking a quick swig. "It's my birthday!"

"Hell yeah, it is," Chad said, grinning as he picked up his own bottle. "Cheers, bitches!"

 

***

 

It didn't take too many more drinks before Jensen found himself out on the dance floor. He was feeling easy and loose and it was nothing to let himself get sucked into the mass of dancers, bumping and grinding among the group of complete strangers. He might not have minded at the time, but he'd be grateful later how Chad and Chris and Steve all joined him, creating a sort of protective bubble where they could just enjoy moving their bodies to the beat.

Suddenly, the music stopped. There was a tapping sound and a loud, screeching noise of feedback passed through the speakers, making the crowd shout and recoil, everyone covering their ears.

"Er, sorry about that, folks," Chad's voice boomed out. He stepped into one of the spotlights and shaded his eyes with his free hand, peering out over the dance floor.

"Where is… Oi! Jensen! Show me where you are, man."

Jensen was already a sweaty mess from dancing, but he felt his face grow even warmer as he quietly raised his hand and waved at Chad.

"Hey, there he is!" Chad exclaimed. "Everyone, we have a very special guest in the house tonight. It's my friend Jensen's birthday!"

Jensen ducked his head as the entire bar clapped and shouted out birthday wishes. He smiled shyly at those nearest him, but then covered his face in his hands as Chad began to sing.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!"

He peeked through his fingers when Chris and Steve wrapped their arms around his back, swaying as they too bellowed along with the song. Every person in the club was singing to him, and Jensen had never been so simultaneously embarrassed and pleased in his life.

As the song finished to roaring applause from the crowd, the music came back to life and Jensen was promptly forgotten, though a few dancers nearby still smiled at him whenever they glanced his way.

Chad hopped off the stage and rejoined them. Jensen swung an arm around his neck and squeezed him into a headlock.

"You…" he growled, rubbing his hand through Chad's meticulously styled hair and turning it into a spikey mess. "You owe me a drink for that."

"Ah, get off me, you fucker!" Chad stumbled out of Jensen's hold, but he was grinning when he stood back up. "Fine. I'll get you a drink."

"Fine!" Jensen grinned back at him. Then he stuck out his tongue.

"Ohhh, you… Who knew you'd be such a birthday _diva_?" Chad returned the gesture then headed towards the bar.

Jensen laughed and turned back to the crowd, giving in to the beat once more.

 

***

 

Jensen was drunk. Definitely. But it was good. He felt high, his blood pounding through his body in synch with the beat. Someone - Steve or Chris, he's pretty sure - had stuffed a few dollar bills in his hand and nudged him closer to the stages where the go-go boys danced. He found himself at the foot of what surely had to be some sort of god; miles of golden skin towered above him, stretched over long limbs and firm muscles.

The god smiled down at him, wide and white and bright, and Jensen was ensnared. The dancer lifted his arms behind his head and circled his hips, swaying to the music that Jensen could no longer hear over the buzz in his brain.

Jensen glanced down at the cash clutched in his fist, then raised his hand up over the stage. Jensen was certain the bills were but a pittance, unworthy of someone so divine, but the dancer just smiled and lowered himself to his knees, bringing his hips much closer to Jensen's outstretched arm. Jensen carefully tucked his measly offering alongside the other bills already lining the man's underwear. He pulled his hand away with regret, but then he was seized in a strong grip, the man's huge hand clasped around his wrist and tugging just enough to direct Jensen's attention back on his face.

And such a beautiful face it was, too. There was that gorgeous smile, and eyes that sparkled, their color a multi-hued mystery. Jensen was helplessly, hopelessly caught.

"Hey," the god said, voice like honey washing over Jensen so smooth that he shuddered. "Would you like to dance with me?"

Jensen gulped, all words lost in the sudden dry, narrow tunnel of his throat. So he nodded soundlessly and let the deity before him lift him onto the stage and pull him against his heavenly body.

Jensen sighed and closed his eyes to shut out the bright light, caring only for the feeling of strong arms wrapped tightly around him, the hard lines of the man's chest and torso pressed against his back as they swayed together. The man lightly dragged his hands across Jensen's stomach to grip his hips, leading him, moving them both in time with the heavy beat. Jensen let his head fall back to rest on his partner's shoulder and he felt the man's breath sneaking over his collarbone and under the unbuttoned front of his shirt. He thought maybe he felt the press of the man's lips against his neck, but his whole body was on fire with the sensation of being held so close that he couldn't tell for sure.

He didn't know how long they danced, but it wasn't nearly long enough. Too soon he was being gently lowered to the floor again and into Chad's waiting arms. The ride back to his apartment was a haze; Jensen was already half asleep, his head lolling against Chad's shoulder.

By the time Chad and Steve got him tucked into bed, Jensen was out like a light. Chris left a glass of water and some aspirin on his nightstand, then made sure the bedroom drapes were closed and his alarms were shut off.

Chad wrote a quick note, telling Jensen not to worry about coming in to work. They'd all vouch for him, and Chad had made sure Jensen's schedule had been cleared anyway, so there'd be no upset clients waiting when he returned. They left quietly, patting themselves on the backs for having pulled off such a successful birthday night for their friend. Jensen slept like the dead, dreaming of a man with golden skin and a dimpled smile - someone he'd have no memory of when he awoke, his head pounding as heavily as the beat he'd danced to the night before.

 

_***Back to drag show night, present day***_

 

"God, the way you just gave yourself over to me, to the music… " Jared's eyes looked a little glazed as he recalled that night.

Jensen was in a state of shock. How could he have had Jared so close to him, and not _remember_ it? After hearing Jared tell him about how they had technically first met, a lot of that night had come back to Jensen as well. He remembered, very vaguely, dancing with someone, but it was a hazy memory at best. More like a dream than something that had actually happened. _Fucking alcohol_ , he thought, ruefully glancing down at his current drink.

“Nice job saving my seat.”

Jensen jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder, Mandy’s voice right behind him.

“Jesus, Mandy. You scared the hell out of me.” He turned to see her smirking at him, eyes sparkling.

“In Jensen’s defense, it’s not really his fault. I am _very_ persuasive.” Jared winked at Jensen. He stood, smiling down at Mandy. “Hey, Mands.”

“Hey, you big idiot,” she answered, swooping in to hug around his waist. She stretched onto her very tippy-toes but Jared still had to crouch down so she could kiss his cheek.

Jared glanced at Jensen, the slightest trace of apprehension on his face, then turned his gaze back to their friend. "Did you want to sit down, or… ?"

"Oh no." Mandy shook her head with a smile. "You boys have fun chatting. I'll just go pay some respect to Aretha up there."

Mandy waved a dollar bill at them and nodded towards the stage. Jensen blinked in surprise. There was, in fact, a large, dark-skinned queen currently belting out an exceptionally skillful rendition of _A Natural Woman_. Jensen had been so wrapped up in Jared and their conversation that the drag show and entire rest of the noisy bar had quietly slipped into the background without him noticing.

"Oh, and Jensen," Mandy added, "Don't worry about our bet." Then she winked and disappeared into the crowd.

Jared laughed and turned back to Jensen. "You had a bet?"

"Yeah," Jensen chuckled, scratching at the back of his neck as he ducked his head. "Pretty sure I would've lost anyway. Was supposed to guess which queen was Matt, but I got a bit distracted."

"Mmm. Distracted, huh?" Jared sat back on his stool, pressing closer into Jensen's space so their knees knocked against each other. He laid one giant hand on Jensen's thigh and smiled, smug.

Jensen let out a nervous huff. "Yeah. You have no idea the effect you have on me," he admitted, quiet enough that Jared had to lean close to hear him.

"I think I'm beginning to," Jared said. He angled his head until his lips were almost brushing Jensen's ear then asked in a low voice, "You wanna get out of here?"

Jensen drew in a sharp breath, eyes snapping to Jared's when he moved back just far enough to see Jensen's face. Jared rubbed his hand slowly over Jensen's thigh as he quietly watched him, gaze dark and intense.

"I literally thought you would never ask that," Jensen finally said, disbelief coloring his voice.

"Is that a yes then?" Jared's dimples were out in full force.

"That's a _hell_ yes." Jensen met Jared's eyes and smiled wide, even as his heart started beating a hundred miles a minute. "Just lead the way."

 

***

 

"You boys have a nice night now," Ty said with a huge grin and a wink as he handed Jared back his credit card.

"Fuck you too, Ty," Jensen replied cheerfully, slapping a five on the counter for him and putting his wallet back in his pocket. Jared had insisted on picking up his tab which was probably for the best since Jensen had nearly forgotten that was a thing people needed to do before they left a bar. The fact that he was leaving with _Jared_ had his mind reeling and he decidedly was _not_ thinking straight. He was also mostly hard, a highly distracting condition that his slacks did a very poor job of concealing. Jensen was very thankful for the darkness inside the club.

"Come on, this way." Jared held out his upturned palm and Jensen followed as they beelined through the crowd, his hand ensconced in Jared's unrelenting grasp.

The reflective 'Employees Only' sign caught his eye and Jensen's brain stuttered when he realized that's where they were headed. Jared pushed through the door into a brightly lit room, leading Jensen past a mess of lockers and dressing tables and a handful of performers in various stages of drag. They were all standing around chatting and Jensen thought one who was clearly missing her wig might've been Matt, but Jared was already pulling them through another door too quickly for him to get a good look.

There was a short hallway that terminated in a neon exit sign but Jared hung a left into a small room just before it. With a slight tug, Jared deposited Jensen beside a ratty couch, turning the lights on and closing the door behind them. Jensen tried catching his breath, getting a quick glance of yellowing walls and a small card table with folding chairs around it, but Jared didn't leave him be for long, grabbing him by the tie and swinging him so his back landed with a thud against the door.

"Do you have any idea how crazy you've driven me these past few months?" Jared growled into his ear, pressing in close. Jensen could feel how hard he was and he hitched his hips, seeking friction on his own swelling cock.

"Always so put together, and with these goddamn ties… " Jared bit at Jensen's jaw and tightened his grip on the aforementioned neckwear. Jensen squeezed his eyes shut and groaned, tipping his head back, eager for Jared's attention.

Jared sucked and licked right at his pulse point, nipping at his Adam's apple and just generally devouring his neck.

"God, Jared. No, had no idea… " He gripped at Jared's arms but the hoodie got in the way. Jensen wanted to feel the flex of Jared's muscles as he worked to hold him in place.

"Please, can I…? Wanna feel you, Jared." Jensen tugged at the hem of Jared's sweatshirt.

Jared's hands darted down to grab Jensen's wrists, pulling them away from his body and stopping his attempts to strip off the bulky shirt.

"No," he said.

Jensen went perfectly still. Jared pressed one more kiss to Jensen's neck then leaned back, keeping Jensen's wrists held tightly in his grip.

"Look at me, Jensen."

Jensen responded immediately, leveling his head and opening his eyes to meet Jared's gaze. Jared transferred one of Jensen's wrists so he was holding both in only one of his giant hands and he brought his free hand up to cup Jensen's chin, stroking his thumb over Jensen's lower lip like he had earlier at the bar.

"Good boy," he praised, and Jensen shuddered. Jared chuckled. "That really does it for you, huh?"

Jensen swallowed hard and nodded silently. He searched Jared's face, wondering why he had pulled away.

"If I let go of your hands, can you keep them to yourself for me?" Jared asked.

Jensen nodded again.

"Good." Jared licked his lips as he watched Jensen drop his hands in fists at his sides. He hummed in approval and moved to stand right up against Jensen's body again, running his hands up and down Jensen's arms.

"There are so many ways this can go," he said, "so I want us to be up front about what we both want, okay?"

Jensen started to nod again, but Jared caught his chin in a gentle but immobile grip and shook his head.

"Verbal answers, please, Jensen."

"Okay." Jensen's throat was dry and his voice came out rough. Jared's gaze darkened and he smiled, all white teeth, almost predatory.

"Okay. I'll start." Jared brought both hands up to frame Jensen's face, carding his fingers through the hair above his ears and stroking down his neck. "Ever since that first night when we danced, I've wanted you."

Jensen's eyes widened at the admission, though he supposed it wasn't exactly a shock after Jared had reminded him of the events on his birthday night. He said nothing and Jared continued.

"But then, when you never approached me again - never even got so far as the dance floor - I thought maybe I'd misinterpreted your reaction to me. So I watched you. And I saw you watching me back, so I thought I'd wait. Maybe you were just shy, or thought I wasn't interested. But when nothing changed, even though you kept coming back… I couldn't stand it any more. Thought I'd start by trying to get you to dance again, but nothing changed then, either."

Jensen remembered that night very clearly and his face flushed at the memory.

"Mm, did you like that?" Jared's smile was warm, and the open affection there made Jensen's heart skip.

"Uh, yeah," he admitted with a crooked smile.

"God, Jen. I wanna hear about it, hear what you've been up to all these months, watching me the way you were. What you do when you'd think about me. And then I want to do those things _with_ you."

"Yes, anything," Jensen said, breathless.

"But first… You gotta tell me what you want, too. I need to make sure we're on the same page before we go any further."

Jensen briefly closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Then he looked directly at Jared, saw the desire, sure, but also the open look of hope for something even more, and he let himself give in.

"I want everything," he said.

Jared moaned and bowed his head, his hips hitching forward seemingly on their own. He clenched his hands into fists against Jensen's neck and gave a low, wry laugh. When he looked at Jensen again, his pupils were blown almost entirely, the multi-hued irises eclipsed by black.

"That's good to know. Really good. But I still need a few more clarifications."

Jensen nodded, licking his lips.

"Fuck," Jared cursed. "Okay, I'll make this quick. Just answer yes or no."

"Do you want to enter a sexual relationship with me?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to submit to me?"

Jensen hesitated.

"Yes or no, Jen."

"No," he said. Jared lifted an eyebrow but continued his questioning.

"Okay, explain. Use whatever words you need."

"I think you understand that I like when you take control," he started. Jared nodded in agreement. Jensen shrugged.

"I do want to submit. Sometimes. Maybe more than that. I don't really know. But I didn't think a straight 'yes' answer covered that, so… " he dropped off and looked back to meet Jared's eyes.

"Fair enough," Jared answered. "Sex is never really that straightforward anyway. I think we can work with that." He grinned. "Next question. Do you want to be in a romantic relationship with me, too, like dating?"

Jensen's breath hitched but his answer was immediate. "Yes."

Jared's smile could have replaced the spotlight he danced under when he was onstage.

"Any more questions?" Jensen asked, raising one eyebrow and smirking at Jared.

"I see what you mean about only wanting to submit sometimes," Jared chuckled. "You've got a mouth on you, don't you sweetheart."

Jensen bit his lip and lowered his gaze, not able to quite contain the grin threatening to burst through.

"Jen." Jared's tone had Jensen lifting his eyes to Jared once more.

"For right now, will you do what I say?"

"Yes. Please," Jensen answered, still very aware of the hands he held at his sides.

"Then get in here and kiss me."

Jensen leaned as Jared pulled and then their mouths were as close as the rest of their bodies already were. Jensen licked at Jared's lips and Jared let him in, their tongues tangling as they explored the taste and feel of each other.

"You can touch me now," Jared moaned at him, his own hands busy angling Jensen's head just so, or gripping the hair at the back of his head to control the kiss even further.

Jensen felt like restraints had been cut from his wrists and his hands instantly gravitated to Jared's waist, sneaking under the hem of his shirt and seeking the firm muscles of his sides and stomach.

"God, please, Jared, please let me see you."

Jared pecked him on the lips one more time then stepped back, separating himself from Jensen fully.

"Okay," he said, stripping off both his hoodie and the shirt underneath in one motion, "but it's gonna cost you your hands. Take off your shirt and give me your tie."

Jensen complied without hesitation, only undoing the first couple buttons so he could slip the shirt over his head then lay it neatly on the couch beside them. Jared gave him an appraising look and grinned.

"Very nice. Okay, now turn around and give me your hands."

Jensen did as told and Jared pressed him against the door again, grabbing his wrists and wrapping the tie around them. Jared laid a line of kisses to Jensen's shoulder as he worked, tying a knot and testing the give.

"So good for me, Jen." He circled Jensen with his arms, lifting his hands to stroke over Jensen's chest. Jensen gasped when Jared grazed his nipples, arching backwards only to meet the hard line of Jared's cock rubbing against his crack. Jared explored his chest and torso for a few more moments before spinning him back around.

"Still want everything, Jen?"

"Please."

"Then get on your knees. Let's see how well we can use that mouth of yours."

"God, yes." Jensen had to really concentrate to lower his body intentionally instead of just letting it collapse with want. He eyed the stretch of Jared's jeans where his cock was pressing at the zipper and his mouth watered.

"So gorgeous," Jared praised, gazing down at him. Jensen let himself appreciate Jared's long, nimble fingers as he worked to open the fastenings of his jeans. There was a fine, nearly unnoticeable tremble to them.

As much as Jensen wanted to get right in there as soon as possible, he held himself still as Jared freed his cock. Long and cut and flushed the same pink as Jared's kiss-bitten lips, it was perfect. Jared held it in his right hand, giving himself a couple strokes before stepping forward to place himself against Jensen's lips.

Jensen placed a reverent kiss to the tip then pulled back to meet Jared's eyes.

"I want you to know that I've fantasized about this scenario so, _so_ many times. And... " He glanced to the side and shrugged, feeling the tug of the tie around his wrists. He returned his gaze to Jared's face and willed his voice to be steady.

"Don't feel like you have to hold back, okay? If it gets to be too much for me… I'll let you know."

" _Fuck_. Okay, Jen," Jared panted, the trembling of his hand becoming more pronounced.

Jensen leaned forward and kissed each finger where it was wrapped around his already leaking shaft, then licked along the outline of each digit, nibbling at them playfully until, "Okay, okay, I get it!" Jared laughed and removed his hand. It's not like his cock needed help staying erect anyway.

Jensen grinned then took all of Jared as far into his mouth as he could.

"Shit!" Jared's hips thrusted him past the natural stopping point, deep into the back of Jensen's throat. Jensen closed his eyes and moaned, swallowing and breathing through his nose, doing his best not to actually choke.

This. _This_ was was what he'd been wanting. He felt surrounded by Jared: the intimate smell of him filling his nostrils, his hands wrapped around his skull and tugging at his hair, the steady shift between suction and suffocation as he pumped his hips and stuffed Jensen's mouth so completely. With every backstroke Jensen caught a hint of the taste of Jared's precome and he wanted more; he wanted it all.

It was almost all he could do to stay upright between his own eager head bobbing and the entirety of Jared's weight thrusting in and out of his mouth. Jensen leaned as close as he could get, trusting Jared's hands to keep him more or less in place. He moaned around his mouthful and curled his tongue, working Jared's cock as best he could in tandem with the relentless pace Jared was setting.

Jared's breath started to hitch. "Okay, fuck, okay. Jen, gonna come, gonna… Fuck!"

Jensen, determined to not let any part of Jared escape him, leaned forward when Jared made a feeble attempt at pulling away; there was a moment when he thought he'd overbalanced, but then he was caught, suspended between Jared's hands gripped tight at the back of his head and his cock pulsing straight down his throat. Thus immobile and impaled, Jensen's own orgasm hit him like a trainwreck. His whole body convulsed; his throat clenched tighter around Jared and tears filled Jensen's eyes as he struggled to intake oxygen. His vision blurred and his cock throbbed where it was trapped in his now ruined slacks.

It was pure necessity that had him swallowing Jared's release, but he drowsily chased the flavor, lapping at the cockhead when Jared pulled out, dribbling over Jensen's lips and chin.

Utterly dazed, Jensen looked up through half-lidded eyes, licking his lips as he sought to meet Jared's gaze.

"Fuck. Come here, baby." Jared leaned down and gathered a limp Jensen in his arms, lifting him to stand. Jensen's legs wobbled and Jared hurried to catch him, moving him to sit on the edge of the old couch. He made quick work of releasing the tie from Jensen's wrists, setting the sweat-stained silk on top of Jensen's discarded shirt. Then he shuffled behind him and laid them down, cradling Jensen on his side with his back against Jared's chest.

By the time Jensen's brain was fully back online, he was snugly in position as little spoon and Jared was peppering his neck and shoulders with kisses.

"So, so amazing, sweetheart. Knew you would be. Fuck."

Jensen smiled and pressed a tired kiss to the arm Jared had wrapped underneath him, laving the sweat-sheened skin with his tongue.

"And to think we could have been doing this for months," he said, his voice absolutely wrecked.

Jared chuckled. "Yeah. And who's fault is that?"

Jensen snorted. " _You're_ the one who was untouchable. Your stage might as well be a pedestal, you know?"

Jared hummed in a way that Jensen assumed was him acknowledging his point.

"Not to mention how you dress like a sub," he added. "What's up with that, anyway?"

"Uh, that was actually a friend's idea," Jared admitted. "When he and I first started working here a few years ago, I got a lot of… let's just call it _oppressive_ attention. Obviously there's a certain level of exposure and intimacy that comes with a job like this, but it got to be more than I could handle. I wanted to quit."

Jensen squeezed the arm Jared had splayed across his chest, a sort of hug. He may have found Jared out-of-reach, but he knew not all men who reveled in the presence of go-go boys would have the same reserved sense of propriety as he had.

"But then Chad suggested the collar. He figured it'd work sort of like those fake engagement rings that waitresses wear sometimes to ward off unwanted advances, you know?"

"Yeah, that makes sense… wait. Chad? As in Chad _Murray_?"

Jared's soft laughter rumbled deep in his chest and vibrated through Jensen.

"The one and only. I guess you know him, huh. I mean, obviously, since he was with you for your birthday… "

"He used to _work_ here? Oh my god. I'm going to kill him."

Jared's laughter grew louder. "Not an overly uncommon reaction to knowing Chad, to tell you the truth," he chuckled.

Jensen was quiet for a while, contemplating all the ways in which he'd maybe possibly been set up by his friend. He thought it probably gave Chad far more credit than he in reality deserved, but the idea was still a bit unnerving. Though he had to admit, if Chad _had_ somehow manipulated things to make Jared a part of Jensen's life, Jensen could only thank him, the sneaky bastard.

"You still thinking about Chad, babe?" Jared asked.

"Yes," Jensen admitted grumpily. Jared laughed and started pulling at Jensen until he was turned around and facing Jared on the couch.

Jared cupped Jensen's face and smiled into his eyes. "I really don't want to talk about Chad right now. Not when I finally have you right where I want you."

"Mmm," Jensen agreed. "I like it here." He kissed Jared, slow and slick, gentle and lingering. Perfect.

His heart was fluttering when they parted. "Don't think I'm ever gonna wanna leave," he confessed. "I'm a little crazy for you, in case you hadn't noticed."

"I had," Jared said, smiling. "And I don't plan on letting you go, either."

Jensen shuddered. "Couldn't help myself from wanting you. Even when you were Tristan, a beautiful sub who belonged to someone else, I still wanted to be yours."

"Never belonged to anyone but you since the moment I first danced with you in my arms." Jared's eyes sparkled, honest and happy. "And now I have you."

"And now you have me," Jensen agreed, leaning in for another mind-melting kiss. "So, what do you plan on doing with me?"

Jared grinned. "You already said it, sweetheart: Everything."

Jensen grinned and crawled onto Jared's lap, ready for round two and so, so much more.

"Just what I always wanted."

 

***

 

THE END.

**Art:** [Live Journal](https://dephigravity.livejournal.com/129304.html) | [Tumblr](http://dephigravity.tumblr.com/post/180555388200) | [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/posts/257099)

**Author's Note:**

> So so so so so many people to thank for this one. As this was my first art/fic challenge where I was filling the role of author instead of artist, I was especially needy and these lovely people deserve so much love and gratitude for putting up with me and carrying me through.
> 
> [Nick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dephigravity/pseuds/dephigravity), first and foremost. Thank you for your beautiful art, but more than that, for being my friend and handling all my incessant questions and insecurities like a pro. I hope this won't be the last time we'll get to work together ♥♥♥
> 
> [Anna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story), for your constant excitement for my writing, and for being willing to back that up with reading as I write and providing feedback (and so much encouragement) as I go. My stories are always better with your input.
> 
> [SAMMIE](https://archiveofourown.org/users/non_tiembo_mala). For being right there with me for so much of this. Reading and critiquing, making sure this all made sense... and squeeing and cheering me on (you know, like you always do ♥), especially in the midnight hour when I always seem to need it most. And to our [Jen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gluedwithgold), who is always there to answer a quick question or provide some much needed encouragement.
> 
> [Ana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anastiel/pseuds/anastiel)! For reading specific scenes (you know the ones ;)) and helping to keep me on track with elements that are not in my wheelhouse. Your insight and friendship are invaluable ♥
> 
> On that note, so many thanks to all the "experts" on the Discord server, most notably Patrick ([TFWBT](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFWBT)) and [BlindSwandive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlindSwandive/pseuds/BlindSwandive), though so many of you helped so generously... I'm not sure I could possibly name you all. But I appreciate every one of you!!!
> 
> To [Ash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashtraythief), thank you for 'beta-ing' my Chad! I'm so glad you approved of him ^_^
> 
> To all of my friends on Twitter ([Alyndra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alyndra), [RiatheMai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiatheMai/pseuds/RiatheMai), [Kellnire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kailene), to name a few) who put up with my struggle!tweets, or who joined me for one of my month-long writing challenges (you all are the true rockstars!!), or who sprinted with me... Thanks for keeping me going.
> 
> Um. Yeah. That's a lot of people, and I could go on, but I'll wrap this up and just say, THANK YOU, ALL OF YOU. For supporting and encouraging me, always. I love you all. Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments are love! ^_^  
> ♥♥♥


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